I am Better Than Yesterday's Self

"Well, in our country," said Alice, still panting a little, "you'd generally get to somewhere else—if you run very fast for a long time, as we've been doing."

"A slow sort of country!" said the Queen. "Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!"

/Red Queens Race in Through the Looking-Glass by Lewis Carroll/

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This collection is personal story about deciding to do something, something that just time ago I might have considered un-doable. And it’s not actually about the goal itself, it's more about the journey towards it. The journey is the most interesting part. I tried to put down some notes, about the physical and emotional changes that happened to me, because I needed to be conscious about this journey. To accept the good change, I needed to accept so many things that my self consciousness didn’t allow before! That is why all the notes are written as affirmations and those affirmations are the themes and the names of the design pieces from the collection. These are little mantras to myself! Perhaps they might be useful to you or mean something special to you as well. So here we go! I RAN MY FIRST MARATHON!

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I don’t think that running a Marathon makes me a better human being, or even doing the training doesn’t. Except it made me fitter and stronger and that lead to more energy to do good stuff outside the training process..but in general - NO! It did not make me a better person! But it made me to get to know myself better. It made me to go outside the comfort zone, to talk to myself more, to understand that if I am not going to “run twice as fast” I am really going to stay at the same place. The journey also gave me the privilege to get to know new people and to know better ones I already knew. I think it counts to every bigger or smaller life decision, about every journey to a set target and it’s nothing to do with actual running. The running is more like a real time metaphor here.

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I could say that it all started 6 years ago, when I first began running..but actually it started few months ago, when I was accepted to a program that is meant to train you for your first marathon. I got the most wonderful and best coach Anita Kažemāka and super cool team to do it with. And then right after the first meeting my low self esteem kicked in. The first panic attack and the first thoughts that - it’s just plain stupid. I need to do what I do, that is - design, and stop imagining myself as a marathon runner. Sure, I will continue doing my day job, but so much time is going to be consumed in this new marathon thing. Pff…

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But ok, one thing I had before in my arsenal of reaching goals (and also ruining personal relations) - spitefulness, so I decided that I just need to put it all together - the old stuff, the new stuff and it will work itself out. I need to make a decision that I am committed to it, and stick to it. Most of the resources for running these 42,195 km are into my own body, I am strong enough, but still the important part of it I will have to take from others. The knowledge and inspiration from the coach and the running buddies and friends. There were so many hard parts, and to be honest there were about three times in in the training process when I thought that I should quit, but every time I luckily bounced back. Now that I come to think of it the times I thought to quit while running the actual marathon was also 3, so maybe there is some correlation. I think this process somehow made me learn that it can be hard and it is still ok, I still have to go on. It makes me grow and learn a lot about myself. They say that you get to know your friend for real only in hard times, I think it it also applies to getting to know yourself. Our coach said that the race is going to be a race only against yourself..and, boy, it was!

 

It was fun, and hard and fun again..and I did it! I ran my first Marathon in 4 hours 29 minutes and 59 seconds (needles to say, I was thriving to run under 4:30 - SCORE!)

 

All in all with this collection I wanted to display my journey through this experience, piece by piece thinking about the process and the goal. Hopefully my affirmations will be something you can relate to and wear my designs proudly expressing the message as your own little mantra.

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I want to say huge thanks to everyone who was involved:

beautiful and woderful model Līga Jankova-Dauskane from Moon Models

photographer Miks Šēls

make-up artist Marisa Vipule

photoshoot asistant Elīna Stelcere

"Thank you" so huge I can't express it in words, goes to "Mans pirmais maratons" gang, especially my wonderful coach Anita Kažemāka. Thank you for this journey.

Special thanks to Latvian Academy of Sport Education for welcomng us in their photogenic stadium!

 

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